---===Breathe===---

Episode 1 - Pilot

Day by day and night by night, I keep on thinking about life. Finding ways to live life to the fullest is just what people aim for. It’s easy to say that in words but, life, itself, has a new meaning for those who were born in a hopeless world. Today is supposed to be a special day for mankind as earth is making a history. As far as I am concerned, the street is empty and nobody is celebrating New Year’s Eve. I pitifully look out at the window from my old rusty apartment and notice a thick layer of hazy smog that entirely covers up the whole lifeless concrete city, leaving an uncertain and unclear vision of hope. As I have mentioned earlier, only with hope, we can only live life meaningfully. Few days ago, I went to a library and borrowed a great novel, "The Beautiful things that Heaven Bears", written by Dinaw Mengestu. I was profoundly touched by the quote mentioned in the book. This is how it goes, "A man who stuck in two worlds, he lives and dies alone". Not only I am stuck in two worlds, but also I cant move forward.

Sometimes, when I look out from my apartment’s window that is totally closed, I perceive my life as a vision of incompleteness. Something is missing and I just can’t find it here anymore. It’s like doing something for nothing. Karl, my neighbor, who used to have a son, told me the same thing but in a different context, “In the end, I am back to nothing”. He always murmured with that pathetic phrase. The only way I replied to him was with a hesitate smile. I totally understand why he would say such a solemn phrase. I know the feeling of lost and lack of fulfillment. No doubt, challenges will make us go stronger. What if challenges that make us turn weaker?

My old big round clock ticks silently down for a New Year’s celebration. The roads, my room and my entire apartment are very much speechless. It’s so calm and quiet that only my breathings can be heard. The streets, where once used to be filled with irresponsible people and polluted cars, are gone. Lights along the streets are dimmed and covered with a thick layer of dusty sands. And if you were to walk along the street at night, you wouldn't have found your way home. Technically, you will be lost because darkness impairs your visibility and sensibility.

To be honest, it’s true that the earth no longer gives us hope. Human generation will slowly vanish. Why? The air I inhale is no longer the same as I used to breath 20 years ago. Air pollution, which contains toxic of co2, has destroyed 50% of the earth atmosphere. It’s beyond repair now, and I am just trying to make my last stand here on earth. I hate to say this but it’s true that almost 60% of the new born babies will not manage to survive the hostile environment. The rate of environmental degradation has surpassed the rate of human evolution. Human will no longer manage to cope with the increasing damages of our mother nature. I manage to remain alive because I was lucky to be born earlier where the environment was relatively with life-support. The percentage of dying babies increases now and then. It’s horrible and sad to see an end to human generation.

Sadly speaking, I have experienced another devastating New Year celebration, knowing that the earth is unable to survive on its own anymore. I just don’t have the joy to move on. Time is running out and it’s too late. To all the dead and about-to-die ancestors out there, thank you for destroying our lands that you borrow from us. We will see you soon.

With few more seconds to go, the earth will turn ....... (to be continued)

~written by Ronnie Tay.